Rob at the Movies!
Wanna see something really scary?
Well I guess it’s time for another blog then, and it seems a lot has surpassed since I last left you breathless with pages upon pages and hours upon hours of reading until you turned into jelly! Thankfully my content this time around is a bit less than reviewing every single movie ever released in April 2011, but I’ll get to that a bit later. First and foremost (well it seems to be the biggest and most important thing has happened, seemingly more than Easter even!) is the Royal Wedding, that blissful union of Prince William and Kate Middleton that took place on Friday April 29th as we all sat round the telly (or didn’t bother and then were all curmudgeonly about it, going ‘boo to the wedding, I don’t care’ If you don’t care so much, shut up about it then!) and were all enraptured by the goings on. Literally millions upon millions of people from around the universe descended on London to either catch a glimpse of the newlyweds driving to and from the Wedding or to see them kiss on the balcony of Buckingham Palace. It was a truly spectacular day and made you proud to be British, well I felt proud anyway and I’m sure many more did too.
But enough about the wedding, on the same day I went to the lovely and marvellous Ainsdale beach with a group of friends, I’ve been struggling recently to give the little gang of people a name but to be fair it’s always a few different people in there every time, so this was more or less what I’ll call ‘The Unit crew’ whereas ‘St Marks crew’ would include a few who weren’t there like Joe, Beth and Bennett plus the legendary Bowens. It was the occasion of Lucy Dixon’s 19th birthday, and she wanted to go to the beach for the occasion for a barbecue (cheeky Ben Houghton aka Care Bear has since stolen this idea, sneaky!) so off we went and it was a really cool night, good friends, lovely scenery, some ok food (not the shops fault, those were good sausages and burgers etc, just the mini barbecues we had were a bit meh and of course, sand yum!) and the legendary Abe doing his dancing and going on about things only he knows, legend though!
It was a great night, and an opportunity to do the one thing that really makes my year, month, day whatever... the opportunity to go right out to the edge of the sea-line, where the waves begin... where there is no-one around for acres on either side or behind you even... to go out and really just stare out into the distance, feel the wind against your face and hair, feel the water rush to your feet, and really think... think about life, take the time out to escape from real life for a few moments and take a breath and forget the world. It’s truly magical, and whilst it worked even better last year when I was working at the time... even without work, it’s great to just try and forget the world and experience the horizon and the air and just close your eyes... and scream! Yes, the perfect therapy... a brill thing to do, just take it all in and let it all out, a huge scream... all that energy inside of you... it feels great!
That was that night, but the fun times never do end. Before all of that, there was Easter time... yay Easter, I went on at length about its back story and meaning so I’ll just go through a few fun things that happened. Firstly there was Good Friday (well first was Maundy Thursday, and a very nice meal... but that was it really, a really lovely meal, some great liturgy and a really lovely evening but I don’t need to rattle on about it for pages so moving on) and the afternoon at Sir Joe of Penningtons... so we started Good Friday as you do by going to church, and it was a great service... Richard Denno (so brilliantly played by Nicolas Cage in Kick Ass, quick in joke for any St Marks guys reading who were at movie night in September last year! And that was a popular evening so probably everyone!) did a bit about putting our sin in the bin and Cameron method acted his way around as a bin man and it was all good fun and informative and great worship and all... and then, in a tradition that Joe may soon become famous for (less said about Easter Sunday the better!) he said ‘Oh everyone come round to mine’ and so we all did... went home, got ready and went back out again ready for chilled times in the sun. After a lot of fun and chatting and all that, what I wasn’t prepared for (well apart from the lengthy walks to every shop in Garswood almost) was the Battle Royale of Water fights that ensued. I remained the only one not that wet though I got a fair few splashes... just twigging now that that could be why my ear has suddenly died!! It was a great day and that was an epic time of epic times, the evening couldn’t compare and didn’t.... next!
Everything else over Easter was fairly straightforward... had a nice simple family time on Easter Saturday and Sunday (Saturday especially nice with a buffet and good times with lovely niece and nephew, whereas Sunday was fairly standard... epic amazing service at church (yet again one of the best ever!) and then a simple family afternoon (whilst everyone else who didn’t want to spend time with their family went to Joes for loads of fun, not bitter lol!) and on Easter Monday, chilled and then went to see Thor which is utterly terrific (just as good in 2D! Plus the end credits scene is truly worth waiting for, as is the one in Fast Five another good film seen recently... adding some well earned character development into the previously slack storied franchise) and some yummy Pizza Hut, a place that whilst it does great food, is a bit naff in terms of surroundings and staffing, though the service was fairly swift it didn’t look like they had much staff, plus it’s not a patch on how it looked during what I call ‘the movie poster days’, good times though overall! Plus on the other Bank Holiday, Monday May 2nd (date of beginning to write, and of writing these very words) I went to Haigh Hall for a walk and some chilling with my mates from church and cell Christian and Sarah, was a nice day... very sunny yet windy and cool but we had a good laugh and a nice time. That’s my recent good times, there’s been a job bit here and there and some good cinema trips as mentioned (seeing Fast Five at Odeon Printworks on Thurs Apr 28th being my first cinema shop day in a while, which is where I trek to Liverpool or Manchester, see a film and then do a bit of shopping... good times).
That’s about it for now, but there are more good times coming up and some more have just gone... we’ve also had The Unit on Friday May 6th which was awesome and more, not only did we have an ace night at CLC doing the usual Unit stuff, which was epic as always, but we then went to Billinge Family Church for some takeaway and wound up stopping there having fun and messing around till 5am!! Whatever they say, clearly church is more a wild night out than going to the pub, going to the pub you’d get back earlier lol! So late we saw the milkman doing his rounds, now that’s late!!! That was an awesome night and then there was Lydia’s birthday party last night (Sat May 7th) which was more or less the same gang minus a few and all sorts happened... from Nathan and his new buddy Nagini the snake, the discovery and Beatles serenading of Harry the Hedgehog and loads and loads of round the table singing and Wink Murder, not to mention some shed espionage! Crazy fun evening to say the least and another highlight of a fantastic weekend, even if these ear drops I have to take have been annoying my ears, grr! Coming up, there’s Care Bear’s stolen birthday party idea on May 14th amongst other cool things, plus some great films coming up like mentioned last time, which include Attack the Block, Blitz, Hanna and Pirates of the Caribbean 4 IMAX 3D (WOO!) amongst others. Good times ahoy, and forever more! Better yet, I’m finalising birthday plans; stay tuned avid fans and true believers!
Two Truly Great Horror Movies
It’s time for a favourite feature of mine, well one that is very easy to do and works beautifully without loads of effort. It’s the two movies to recommend so highly you’ll touch the sky! And this month, we’re talking Horror, BOO! That most thrilling of genres, the one that even though it terrifies people half to death every single time... people still flock to again and again (only just recently I was at Wigan cinema on Cheap Tuesday to see the brilliant Cedar Rapids and the epic amount of people heading off to see Insidious, the new shocker from the Paranormal Activity and Saw guys, was huge! So many people eager to have a heart attack, joys!).
I have nothing against horror films, providing they serve a purpose... a really good horror film makes a really good film overall, both through the expertly crafted chills and thrills but through a great story. If it’s just goosebumps and a chill then it seems pointless to subject myself to having a coronary but if it looks like it’ll be a cracker (Drag Me to Hell recently (well two years ago now) was all about the jolts and boo’s but it was dang good fun and Sam Raimi is a master so I didn’t mind too much, don’t know whether I’d watch it again even if someone bought me the blu ray, James!!) like say a new Scream film or something like The Box (which was more chill than thrill, happily) then I’ll go along and brace myself... having said that, Insidious does look like it’s probably quite good but I’m too chicken for my own good sometimes!
But here are two prime fine examples of the best the horror genre has to offer, two superb examples of how Horror can be done effectively and correctly and make not just a good spine tingler but something much much more potent...
The Fly (18) 1986
Remakes are always a huge mixed bag when it comes to reactions, reviews, responses and thoughts. There has been way too many horror remakes recently (exactly why did Elm Street need revamping?) but when a remake works, oh boy does it work? Great examples of this include Zach Snyder’s Dawn of the Dead, Breck Eisner’s The Crazies, John Carpenter’s The Thing amongst other examples from the non-Horror genre. One of the best of all though is David Cronenberg’s 80’s reimagining of the 50’s classic The Fly, an average if iconic tale of a scientist who has perfected the art of teleportation using two pods... deciding to transport himself, everything seems fine until it is discovered that a fly travelled in the same pod as him. The device can’t deal with two subjects so merges the two into one on the other end, with grisly results... or not in the case of the 50’s version, which settles for a man with a big Fly head and a little fly with a man head, a bit weird but fairly silly.
What Cronenberg does is take this concept and really fly with it... Jeff Goldblum’s Seth Brundle is a genius scientist who is perfecting the art of teleportation, and as in the original he decides to teleport himself and the fly is in the same pod and so on. But rather than simply popping out the other end a weird fly headed stumbler, he at first seems perfectly fine if a bit funky feeling. Slowly but surely though, he undergoes a series of increasingly gruesome changes... he has little hairs on his back... his teeth, nails and ‘that!’ fall out/ off and it slowly becomes clear he is becoming a human and fly hybrid... or as he christens himself, Brundlefly! This is a film renowned for its gruesome and groundbreaking effects work, but as great as they are, they shouldn’t overshadow a truly mesmerising tale that isn’t so much a creepy horror as a tragic love story. But what are the parts that make the film such a classic of the genre, teleport over with me to the next section where we’ll find out (watch out for insects!)...
The Good?
- The performances- Both Jeff Goldblum as Seth Brundle and Geena Davis as Veronica are both absolutely terrific... yes most of Goldblum’s performance tap the same tics and nuances but he parlays them to brilliant effect here, turning from obsessed scientist to tragic figure to manic obsession with his newfound cause brilliantly whilst Davis is excellent as the romantic lead, the woman who is sent to see what Brundle is up to, falls for his quirky ways and then has to look out for him as his conditions grows increasingly horrid. Hers is a really tragic arc, and she carries it effortlessly. The only other turn of note is John Getz as Stathis Borans, the ex of Veronica who sends her to check Brundle out, and who ends up as the kind of hero whilst a kind of baddie, it’s a hard to pinpoint role he plays but he plays it fine, never slipping into unlikeability.
- Those make up effects and the concept... whereas a lot of movies like American Werewolf would instantly transform the protagonist of the piece into whatever beastie/ plantpot they are becoming... Brundle takes his sweet time to transform, and it’s done with fantastic make up effects that slowly but surely turn his features mutated and then into the horrid Fly monster you see at the end. It’s not only a triumph of great effects but a perfectly nuanced and subtle way of telling the story... the slow but sure transformation, something carried over into District 9 recently to great effect.
- The romance at its core... this is no Twilight where the leads spend the film fawning over each other (or in the true Twilight fashion have no chemistry and shock you when you realise they’re trying to have chemistry) or being all soppy. It’s a film of a romance which begins to blossom and then is cut short, and it’s a very subtle underlayer of a film which may seem a grisly body horror but in essence is a true tragedy of love lost.
The Bad?
- There’s not much I can fault with this movie, what I can say is that it’s 80’s style renders it slightly dated but it still holds up despite that... plus some of its excessive gruesome and grossness (case in point, vomit burning Stathis’s arm off) will put people off. Small minors that don’t detract too hard from a great film.
The Ugly?
- Just to clarify, this isn’t the same as listing the bad qualities of the film... this is the ugly side of things, the horror aspect:
- Though the film has a more subtle tone than a simple horror schlock fest, the gruesome effects and plenty of the scenes perfectly add the horror portion of this movie and more... this is one of the films that most fits the phrase ‘Not for the faint of heart!’ from the corrosive vomit that burns through things to that arm wrestling scene through to the horrific transformation. There is plenty of yuck and gruesome imagery.
Ratings:
Scares: 7/10
Heart: 9/10
Concept: 9/10
Style: 8/10
Tension: 8/10
A really great piece of 80’s horror cinema, that blends a great tragic tale of a man’s experiment gone awry and a love story struck down by horrific circumstances with a pure and simple monster tale with one heck of a gruesome monster, even if said beast doesn’t emerge until the final half hour. Not for those who are queasy, but a tremendous movie for all those who can battle through and enjoy a truly terrific horror drama.
Alien (18) 1979
One of those seminal films that everyone cites as a favourite and has a good few of those iconic moments that always appear in ‘Greatest Scary Films’ and all that. One of those iconic movies that had audiences at the time completely unaware and in shock at what they discovered ala Jaws, and the film that put the excellent homegrown Ridley Scott on the map. Not to mention launching the career of one Sigourney Weaver and kick starting a franchise that has been going now for a long time, for better or worse. The simple tale of a spaceship that goes exploring a abandoned planet only to find something not so pleasant which then winds up back on board with them turned from a chilling sci-fi into a tense horror with just one simple iconic scene... picture the scene: John Hurt is having a nibble, then suddenly he convulses and out of his tummy tummy pops a little alien which roars and scampers away... it took audiences in 1979 by complete surprise (and the cast on the day too!) and still manages to pack a grisly punch (even having seen the hilarious Spaceballs spoof also with Mr Hurt, then again he’s in every film ever made I think anyway) as does a number of other classic scenes (that air duct, never going in one of those again!) and a unforgettable cast of characters that slowly but surely drop off to leave Sigourney’s Ripley fighting for her life.
Tense, terrifying, slow burning to begin with, brilliantly played, effective and massively creepy... this is a horror classic that like all the best is also a creepy sci-fi chiller with the birth of the alien’s inside the human male apparently a metaphor for the male fear of birth.... intriguing! If you’ve never seen it before, then you really must... for best results try the big screen, though I was lucky to catch it in 2003 on its 25th Anniversary and the results were splendidly scary... don’t see it in space though, as the tagline says, no one will hear you scream!
The Good?
- The iconic moments... from the chest burster that rips through John Hurt and shocks audiences and the cast themselves via that tense air duct tracker sequence through to the scene where Harry Dean Stanton is picked off slowly but surely from behind whilst he tries to find Jonesy the Cat (legend!). This film is packed with moments that have burned themselves into the public’s subconscious...
- Sigourney Weaver as Ripley still listed as one of the greatest movie heroines, that’s because she is... step back Sarah Connor, Ripley really means business, even if she only really gets into real bad ass mode in Aliens, another stone cold classic. Starting off as bossy and tough and morphing into a true survivor, it’s a great performance that ensures her status as a true cinema icon.
- The Alien, one of cinema’s truly great and fearful monsters... this mean and horrid creature is truly terrifying and truly something to behold in the design department... HR Giger’s designs truly coming to frightening life with that long curved head and that nasty double stabby tongue... not to mention the acid blood! Run!
- The design... from the Space Jockey through to the planet where they investigate the eggs through to the Alien I mentioned... the design of the sets by HR Giger is truly magnificent, very gothic and cool, always creating a very unsettling mood which is perfect.
- The atmosphere... creating a very chilling atmosphere from start to finish, the tone is set just perfect as the movie starts very slowly and builds up the story towards the terrifying climax. When it hits it really hits, but it takes its jolly time getting to that moment and is the template for many a subtle sci-fi since from Monsters to Moon.
The Bad?
- With a movie like this, I really genuinely can’t think of something I dislike about it. It’s too good a film, having said that, being scary ain’t necessarily nice... so boo to it being too scary!
The Ugly?
- As mentioned oh maybe a few times, this is one scary film... from that chest burster that takes everyone by surprise (even the cast!) to the initial scene where the egg opens (a true classic of the Jump scene genre!) via the various attacks (most especially that air duct scene) there are a ton of really scary moments and a overall tense and creepy mood
- Those aliens, as mentioned they’re a sight to behold and truly creepy but of course keeping with the subject of this section... man are they ugly!
Ratings:
Scares: 9/10
Heart: 8/10
Concept: 9/10
Style: 9/10
Tension: 10/10
A truly iconic piece of horror cinema, cleverly cocooned inside a sci-fi chiller with a nice little metaphorical message to tell too... with its iconic scares, great characters, iconic designs and heroine, and its enduring legacy... this is a true original and a true horror classic!
Bon Voyage!
Well we come to the end of this latest blog; they really are two a penny these days... I’ll try and get more along when I can but don’t get too excited as I’m off to Cefalonia on Sunday May 29th for a week, so it definitely won’t be in that time period frame! But yeah, definitely going to try and get another blog in more frequently, I think the next one is more movie recommendations but then soon enough we’ll be onto Summer, where not only are there blockbusters but it’s my birthday! Better yet, plenty of good times with the St Mark’s gang, considering how many outings and parties there are currently, summer is going to explode with awesomeness!
This week coming I have a free preview screening of the new Pirates of the Caribbean, which should be awesome (even more getting to see a 3D movie for free, and who knows they might show it on the IMAX screen, plus!) plus a few bits and bobs and a beach party for the pancake loving Care Bear... most annoyingly I have to keep taking eardrops, which is annoying to say the least because they make my ears feel worse!! Bring on the syringing! Anyway enough of that, hopefully I’ll fit it around my schedule enough to make my ears ready for the syringing and so on, but yeah... some cool times ahead anyway, plus some great films! Life as always is pretty sound even with its bumps and jumps...
You stay classy.... Planet Earth! X
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